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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 1, 2007 14:25:07 GMT
When he's not venturing into the Hells, or helping out on Dusty runs, ShortSpike likes to compose ballads so that later generations may still revel in the glory of Higher Ground.
Here are a few of his favourites:
(With apologies to the original authors!)
Ectoplasmic Weave
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me Ectoplasmic Weave?
My friends all have Hawklights, they say its a breeze.
Levelled hard all my lifetime, I'm down on my knees,
So Lord, won’t you buy me Ectoplasmic weave ?
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Kukri (DB)?
Deverils in the Desert are trying to kill me.
I'll wait at The Crossroads each day until three,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a kukri (DB) ?
Oh Lord, won’t you take me on an Illithid run?
I’m counting on you, Lord, don't tell me its been done.
Prove that you love me and let me join the fun,
Oh Lord, won’t you take me on an Illithid run?
Everybody!
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me Ectoplasmic Weave?
My friends all have Hawklights, they say its a breeze.
Levelled hard all my lifetime, I'm down on my knees,
So Lord, won’t you buy me Ectoplasmic weave ?
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 1, 2007 14:25:44 GMT
The Wizard
On a warm summers evening on a run bound for nowhere,
I met up with a Wizard; we were both in need of sleep.
So we took turns at resting, and buffing up each other
’til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.
He said, son, I’ve made a life out of casting all my emp. FoDs,
And knowing what their spells were by the way they wave their hands.
So if you don’t mind my saying, I can see you’re out of spell-slots.
For a taste of your Absinth, I’ll give you some advice.
So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a Ring of Cold and we searched for a fight.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if you’re gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.
You got to know when to Hold em, know when to Cold em,
Know when to port away and know when to run.
You never split your l00ts when you’re still out on in the desert.
There’ll be time enough for splitting when the fighting’s done.
Now every Wizard knows that the secret to surviving
Is knowing what spells to throw, knowing what to keep.
cause every spell’s a winner and every spell’s a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to reach 60 in your sleep.
So when he’d finished speaking, he turned back towards his spellbook,
passed me back my Cold Ring and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the Wizard, he made 60.
But in his final words I found some magic I could keep.
You got to know when to Hold em, know when to Cold em,
Know when to port away and know when to run.
You never split your l00ts when you’re still out on in the desert.
There’ll be time enough for splitting when the fighting’s done.
You got to know when to Hold em, know when to Cold em,
Know when to port away and know when to run.
You never split your l00tz when you’re still out on in the desert.
There’ll be time enough for splitting when the fighting’s done.
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 1, 2007 14:26:14 GMT
Sharp Dressed Toon
Hawk Robes, Bastion boots
And I don't know where I am going to.
Dusty blade, Orudins Eye
I don't need a reason why.
They come running just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
Neg Potions, Cold Ring,
I ain't missing a single thing.
Unknown Miscellaneous Thin
When I step out I'm gonna do you in.
They come running just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
Titans Top for a hat,
I don't worry coz my bank vault's fat.
Ecto weave, Brazen gloves,
Looking' sharp and looking for love.
They come running just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 1, 2007 14:26:46 GMT
Rhazid
Grindin’, Grindin’, Grindin’
Grindin’, Grindin’, Grindin’
Grindin’, Grindin’, Grindin’
Grindin’, Grindin’, Grindin’
Rhazids’!
Grindin’, Grindin’, Grindin’
Though the route is windin’
Keep them skellies spawning
Rhazids’!
Rain and wind and weather
Hell-bent for leather
Wishin' my Guild was by my side.
All the things I'm missin',
Hell Runs, Sith and ‘llithids
Are waiting at the end of my grind
Spawn 'em on, mass 'em up,
Mass 'em up, Ice 'em out,
Ice 'em on, ‘plode 'em out. Rhazids'!
Spawn 'em out, smash 'em in
Smash 'em in, cut ‘em down,
Cut 'em down, Grindin’ in Rhazids’.
Keep movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them skellies spawnin’. Rhazids’!
Don't try to understand 'em,
Just Ice and curse and grab 'em,
Soon we'll be levelin’ high and wide.
By my heart's calculatin'
My next level will be waitin',
Be waiting at the end of Rhazids’.
Rhazids’!
RHAZID!
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 1, 2007 14:28:43 GMT
Veterans High
There goes the shout-out that warns of the Hell Run
Then comes the sound of the Vets shouting back
Off to the item-shop we've got to get potions
Got to get heals for the coming attack.
Jump to the Workshop and buff-up the tanks
Perm all the enchantments
theres no time to waste
Gathering speed as we head through the portal
Gotta get walled-in before it's too late.
Running, casting, healing
Singing, cursing, healing, going in again
Run, live to l00t, l00t to live, do or die
Run, live to l00t, l00t to live, Veterans High.
Move in to blast at the mainstream of Demons
Let of a meteor and then run away
heal up and buff up and come in behind them
Move to their blindside and cast it again.
Big mobs of Demons spawn up behind us
Ten Red Abishai come out of the blue
Buffing and sending our STR-tanks to face them ...
Heading straight for me… I can take out a few ….
Running, casting, healing
Singing, cursing, healing, resurrecting again
Run, live to l00t, l00t to live, do or die
Run, live to l00t, l00t to live, Veterans High.
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 1, 2007 14:29:40 GMT
Enrith
Enrith, Enrith, Enrith, Enrith,
I'm begging of you please don't take my Hawks.
Enrith, Enrith, Enrith, Enrith,
Please don't take them just because you can.
Your bank vaults are beyond compare,
With mule-toons full of Ultra-Rares
With Tiamat drops and l00tz I’ve never seen
Your Bard has become Demi-God
Your Shifter is not far behind
And I cannot compete with you, Enrith.
I think about them in my sleep,
An' there's nothing I can do to keep,
From crying when you take my Hawks, Enrith.
And I can easily understand,
How you could easily take my robes,
But you don't know what they mean to me, Enrith.
Enrith, Enrith, Enrith, Enrith,
I'm begging of you please don't take my Hawks.
Enrith, Enrith, Enrith, Enrith,
Please don't take them just because you can.
You could have your pick of l00tz,
But I can rarely win the rolls
They’re the only one for me, Enrith.
I had to have this talk with you:
My happiness depends on you,
And whatever you decide to do, Enrith.
Enrith, Enrith, Enrith, Enrith,
I'm begging of you please don't take my Hawks.
Enrith, Enrith, Enrith, Enrith,
Please don't take them just because you can.
Enrith. ( Enrith.)
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Post by dodrudon on Apr 1, 2007 20:20:49 GMT
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Post by bhao on Apr 2, 2007 23:41:49 GMT
Captain: Are you ready kids?
Kids: Aye Aye Captain.
Captain: I can't hear you.
Kids: Aye Aye Captain!
Captain: OHHHHHHH! Who lives in a Temple under the sea?
Kids: Ssithrak M'hasst
Captain: Implosion and Time Stop and WOF casts he!
Kids: Ssithrak B'ssgir
Captain: If Ssssy'is' quest tag be something you wish
Kids: Ssithrak M'nag
Captain: Then drop on by and wail all the fish!
Kids: Ssithrak S'jab
Captain: Ready?
Captain and Kids: Ssithrak M'hasst, Ssithrak B'ssgir, Ssithrak M'nag
Captain: Ssithrak S'jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab!!!! HA HA HA HA !!!!
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 3, 2007 15:35:13 GMT
And by special Request:
'Trix's Pixie, Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena.
'trix's Pixie Mena.
Pesky Pixie Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Pesky Pixie Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Pesky Pixie Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Oh you Pesky Pixie Mena,
'trix's Pixie Mena
We love you.
And, with
'trix's Pixie Mena
Pesky Pixie Mena
We'll do:
Sith, 'thids, and the Pyramid
Oh what a happy time we'll spend.
Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Our Bigbys'-casting friend.
Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Our Bigbys'-casting friend.
Pesky Pixie Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Pesky Pixie Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Pesky Pixie Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Oh you Pesky Pixie Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena
We love you.
And, with
'trix's Pixie Mena, Pesky Pixie Mena
We'll do:
Sith, 'thids, and the Pyramid
Oh what a happy time we'll spend.
Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Our Bigbys'-casting friend.
Mena, Pesky Pixie Mena
Our Bigbys'-castingfriend.
Your sleek as a thoroughbred.
Your always asking for your bed.
You'll turn everybody's head today.
We'll glide on our Dachy trip
With pride in our Guildship
The envy of all we survey.
Oh Pesky You Pesty
Pesky Pixie Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena
We love you.
And Mena, with Mena
Pesky Pixie Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena
We'll do:
Sith , 'thids, and the Pyramid
Oh what a happy time we'll spend.
Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Our Bigbys'-casting friend.
Mena, 'trix's Pixie Mena
Our Bigbys'-casting friend
'trix's Pixie Mena
'trix's Pixie Mena
Bigbys'-casting
Pesky Pixie friend.
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Post by gruntgruntson on Apr 8, 2007 10:15:43 GMT
The Hell's Crew
Another Run, another place,
Another toon, another face,
Another loot, another race,
I'm looting junk, feeling bad,
Another night, I'm going mad,
My woman's leaving, I feel sad,
But I just love the life I lead,
Another run is what I need,
Another foe, my wounds bleed,
We Are The Hell's Crew
Loads of junk I've left behind,
Another spell that makes me blind,
Another secret I can't find,
Another magic blade for you,
Another mob, Abashi (blue)
Another portal to get through,
I'm buffing like a maniac,
Port my way to hell and back,
Another day of slash'n'hack,
We Are The Hell's Crew
Another Layer, we can burn,
Another twist, another turn,
Another goddam map to learn,
Another rest-stop on the way,
Another way I learn to play,
Another word I learn to say,
Another bloody forum post,
Another set of l00tz to boast,
This is the run I love the most!
We Are The Hell's Crew
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